Viva Mexico

Since I left for Mazatlan, Mexico a day after I got back from Chicago, I contemplated following up my last blog with a list of "Things I Learned in Mexico"...I'll be brief.
-They drive with their horns
-Its nearly impossible to spend an hour on the streets without someone trying to sell you timeshare
-You get really good at your 12 time tables (the exchange rate)
-They are all Laker fans...the Jazz get no love.
-You always sleep better when you can hear the ocean
-You burn quickly on antibiotics (ask my mother)

Now for the good stuff...err, mostly good, but always exciting. I left Salt Lake City and everything was great. I had a row all to myself, couldn't be better. We land in Mazatlan and not so quickly go through Immigration and Customs (if you've seen my Passport you would understand, it totally looks fake...only because its been through hell, literally, I have a stamp from Hell) only to discover that unlike us, our bags did not make the trip. I tried not to sweat it which is difficult to do in 100 deg weather...they told us they'd be on another flight and they'd deliver them to our hotel. No worries... I wanted to hit the beach, but had no suit so I hit up the nearest Mazatlan Beach Wear store where I proceeded to buy some clothes without once effectively communicating with the store employees...my total came to $1,290.(Confession: It was in Mexican pesos...something like $92 US.)
I had gone with my mom and my grandma. Normally, you wouldn't think they'd be the most exciting company in Mexico; but we did exciting things. We went zip lining through the jungles of Mazatlan. (Jungles=dry, arid desert.) It was actually a blast. We drove in a wicked cool "Swiss Army Vehicle" (Random thought: If the Swiss are neutral, why are they so darn good at making 'army' equipment?)
After our awesome adventure through the Mazatlan desert, we took a walking tour of a working Tequila factory. Exciting right? Wrong. First, I knew we were doomed when our tour guide couldn't speak a lick of English...and non of the tour takers could speak Spanish. Not a good combo. Secondly, the tequila factory smelled like my uncles dairy farm. Thirdly, it was in the middle of nowhere. I kid you not. (Interesting fact: The tequila cactus plant takes 7 years to mature.)Next on my list of fun adventures was parasailing. Frequent blog readers and fans will remember I've been skydiving twice, but I had yet to parasail. I crossed that off my bucket list. I have a cool video of me doing it (thank you Grandma) but it's 13 minutes long and I'm sure you don't want to see it. Therefore, I will post a pic and you'll have to believe me that it was in fact me and not some random person.

The next day or so I decided to live on the edge and some sweet tattoos. (Confession: They are henna, temporary...I'm so not cool)

This tattoo means "Strength"

This tattoo is LIVESTRONG.

Normally that would be enough adventure for most people. I didn't know what I was in for. I leave Mexico to come home and we had a layover in Phoenix, AZ. Soon after landing we were told that our flight to Salt Lake had been cancelled. What the F? Through of series of jogs through the airport and several rebooked flights we ended up spending the night in Phoenix. Unfortunetly, our bags did not spend the night...once again I was bagless. We flew home the next day...finally.
Here are some Mexico pics for your viewing pleasure.

In Chicago...

CHICAGO

I spent the last week in Chicago having a blast. I was hanging out with this cool kid Anthony and I learned a few things...

--In Chicago there are literally hundreds of different ways to get from point A to point B; and the fastest route is often the longest.
--In Chicago the roads don't have pot holes, the pot holes have roads...--In Chicago the roads are very narrow...and people usually park on both sides.
--In Chicago you can only turn right on a red light between 7AM-7PM.--In Chicago you don't put ketchup on your hotdog...ever.
--In Chicago Roosevelt, Washington, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Lincoln, Madison, Monroe, Adams, Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Polk are roads not Presidents.
--In Chicago people pay a toll to drive on roads...imagine dropping a few coins to take Bangerter home.
--In Chicago red, green, blue, brown, orange, yellow, purple, and pink are trains, not colors.
All in all, I had a lot of fun hanging out and going to the nicest gym I've ever been in...fancy stuff.

The wink...

;)
Typing this little guy in a web conversation means "wink"...and sometimes, as me and Rachel discovered in Gmail chat, it actually creates a little face that winks at you. Believe it or not, it kept us entertained for longer than it should have.

Winks are interesting expressions. A wink is like watching America's Funniest Home Videos. In moderation it's great, but you can't watch it everyday. As my great grandfather use to say, "It's easy to overwink and impossible to underwink." (Ok, he really never said that, but I wish he did.) You have to know when to use the wink. It must be strategically placed with perfect timing and delivery. You can't just throw winks out left and right...you'll become the tragic "over-winker." We all know an over-winker. (If you don't know an over-winker, you ARE the over-winker. I'm sorry I'm the one to have to tell you. Just stop doing it...) The over-winker is almost as bad as the exaggerated winker. You know, the one that uses their whole face as if to say, "Look, I'm winking!" These two faults are cousins to the "creepy-winker." You have to be careful, it's a very delicate science... Everyone appreciates a good winker.

The wink can have many meanings. It can mean, "Go along with whatever I just said" or "I think you're smoking hot but I'm too afraid to say anything so I'm winking at you" or "You know what I REALLY mean" or "I'm kidding" or "Riiiigggghhhhttt."Although most of the times the intent of the wink is clear, sometimes it is not. One of the great Seinfeld episodes in season 7 is titled, "The Wink." In the episode, Jerry squirts grapefruit into George's eye at breakfast, and for the rest of the day George is misinterpreted because everyone thinks he is winking at them. As only Seinfeld can do, we laugh at sometime simple: the wink. For your viewing pleasure, I have included the classic Seinfeld scene.


The next time you go to wink....if you have to think about it, don't do it.