Literally...

Every good Mormon knows that a decent Sacrament Meeting talk begins with the very original line of "Webster's Dictionary defines _____ as... In that spirit I submit the following...
Webster's Dictionary defines literally as: in a literal sense, actual, without interpretation or embellishment. Literally maybe be the most overused word in the English language, or at least a close second to like or just. How did literally come to mean the complete opposite of what it actually means? How did literally come to mean figuratively?
There are numerous ways to misuse and abuse literally. I simply point out the worst two.

First, people often use literally when it is unnecessary.

• "I am so tired I could literally fall asleep." Is there another way to fall asleep? I thought thhe literal way was the only way.
• "I am literally upset." Thank you for making it clear that you weren't figuratively upset. I was confused with what exactly you were going for there.
  

Second, the most frequent abuse of literally is when you actually mean figuratively.

• "I am literally going to kill him." Wow, I'm glad to know that you evaluated every rational response to this scenario and came up with premeditated murder. Are you sure you wouldn't want to figuratively kill him?
• "I am literally losing my mind." Thank you, I will alert the proper authorities.
• "I am going to literally die of boredom." First off, that has never happened. If you did, you would be a medical phenomenon, and that is rather exciting.
• And my personal favorite, "I am literally starving to death." Ask the children in Africa what it feels like to literally starve to death. I bet it's a lot worse than you think.

I know I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, to write a ranting and unoriginal blog post about literally. I beg us all to use literally less and figuratively more. If you don't, I may figuratively explode.